i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
