No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
