Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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