just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
