This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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