I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
