For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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