ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
