Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
