Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
