How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
