hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize