white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
