Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
