there was a trapeze. enough said
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
