I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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