i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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