wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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