That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
