turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
