THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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