She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
