I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
