When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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