You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
