the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We were destined to go to rehab together
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize