so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
