Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize