Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
