Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Me. At least after what I've been through.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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