Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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