If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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