You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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