Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
