I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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