their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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