I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
