Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
