I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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