so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
