I looked at my own cervix.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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