Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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