he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
