he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.