Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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