Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
Terrible brother advice.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia