Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?

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  (215): is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night? http://tfl.nu/ftgg
  Replies (19) Good night (738) Bad night (1616)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

  (917): View more from New York City

  dollar well spent

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  (802): last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears. (917): dollar well spent http://tfl.nu/wmsi
  Replies (15) Good night (3241) Bad night (691)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.

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  (603): turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops. http://tfl.nu/vdzv
  Replies (20) Good night (969) Bad night (5722)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  My Vagina smells like Nemo again.

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  (651): My Vagina smells like Nemo again. http://tfl.nu/j13v
  Replies (29) Good night (578) Bad night (5219)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.

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  (231): You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide. http://tfl.nu/t1va
  Replies (11) Good night (4287) Bad night (1022)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.

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  (540): i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective. http://tfl.nu/c9ng
  Replies (3) Good night (3815) Bad night (818)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome

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  (409): just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome http://tfl.nu/tb2u
  Replies (4) Good night (1505) Bad night (2181)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.

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  (732): It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes. http://tfl.nu/jz1i
  Replies (11) Good night (881) Bad night (2841)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.

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  (360): Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning. http://tfl.nu/92kl
  Replies (18) Good night (2855) Bad night (748)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.

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  (317): Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid. http://tfl.nu/n6yk
  Replies (5) Good night (1193) Bad night (1380)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.

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  (609): she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka. http://tfl.nu/jihr
  Replies (2) Good night (997) Bad night (477)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?

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  (309): He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned? http://tfl.nu/05n3
  Replies (5) Good night (407) Bad night (1690)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left

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  (775): FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left http://tfl.nu/965v
  Replies (7) Good night (333) Bad night (1050)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.

  (714): View more from California

  I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.

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  (203): Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator. (714): I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so. http://tfl.nu/zh00
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (256)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup

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  (403): i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup http://tfl.nu/p8ne
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (276)

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