Whod you bang
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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