He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
