Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
