We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
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I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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