no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
