Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
