i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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