you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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