then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
