We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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