Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
