she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
