there's paper in my vomit.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
