hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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